《Brag Better》Book Review — Master the Art of Fearless Self-Promotion
“Brag is a teamwork, we can practice together” — Meredith Fineman, the author of Brag Better.
This is one of my favorite quotes from Meredith Fineman, the author of Brag Better. She shared this inspirational statement in the live stream of her book launch event.
I participated in Meredith Fineman’s book launch online event a couple of months ago because of Ayan Cheng’s recommendation. If you have no idea who Ayan Cheng ( Ayan Cheng 矽谷阿雅 ) is, she is a former Product Manager Lead in Meta company, a.k.a. Facebook. She led and helped Facebook teams launch e-commerce features across many markets. Moreover, she was nominated by Girls in Tech Taiwan 40 under 40.
After listening to what the author had to say about bragging, I felt deeply touched. It has transformed the way I look at self-promotion and encouraged me to truly value my achievement.
About this book “Brag Better”
According to “Brag Better”, self-promotion or bragging is not about showing off. Bragging doesn’t need to be a negative thing. In fact, it is nothing more than simply stating the facts about your accomplishment confidently.
It’s a skill that many professionals have neglected for a long time. In addition to that, it’s a power that all of us should learn to leverage and help us pursue the goals we desire.
People generally want to see your wins, they want to root for you. But you have to let them know. You have to make it easier for someone to present or brag better for you. You have to do the work for them. You have to help your boss help you.
Help your boss to help you by bragging better
“The truth is that your boss or team lead wants to know how good you are. They want you to get the promotions instead of people from other teams. But the problem is that he/she does not have enough materials to get you a promotion. You need to let your boss know about your win.” Anya Cheng, the event host, shared her opinion on the openings.
Thanks to Asian culture, I grew up learning that as long as we continue to work hard, people will eventually see our success. Hence, hearing the complete opposite opinion delivered by a female leader who grew up with the same cultural experience, has made me feel truly empowered.
Indeed, if we don’t share what we have accomplished with the people around us, how would they know?
Nobody knows what you have done until you tell them
Nobody knows what you have done until you tell them. People need to know your accomplishments. If you don’t take your time to tell people what you have done and showcase your wins, they won’t take the time for you.
“How to talk about yourself has become a missing skill set, no matter in college, the workplace, or even the high corporation. We know how to do it for other people, for companies, for clients, but we don’t know how to do it for ourselves. We also get the wrong attention from the wrong people.” said Meredith Fineman at the book launch event.
Stop being “ The Qualified Quiet”
“This world always rewards people who are loud enough, not those who are qualified.”
This is the very first thing that Meredith Fineman wants all of us readers to know in the book.
If you have done the work, but you don’t know how to talk about it — you’re part of The Qualified Quiet.
The Qualified Quiet are experienced professionals who want more than they’re getting, but they’re either afraid of talking about themselves, don’t know how to, or both.
Being a member of The Qualified Quiet is not a weakness; it’s a strength. You are essentially the backbone of our society and workforce. You are the majority, not the minority. You are not alone.
You have to learn to tell others who you are and what you want in a loud enough and suitable way for you.
What if there is someone who’s better than I am?
Sure, there will always be someone who knows more, is richer, is this and that.
”Comparison is the thief of joy.” — Theodore Roosevelt
But the truth is, even smart and successful people would still feel unqualified to talk positively about their work and profession. What should the rest of us do about it?
Four things I learned from this book about bragging better
#1. By bragging, what we need to do is simply state the fact
Perhaps you just got promoted, learned new skills, or published a new blog and you are feeling excited. All you have to do is simply state the fact of what you have done and which might potentially lead to something better. Why don’t we start doing it now?
#2. You will believe in yourself more when your strengths are acknowledged by people around you
Self-promotion is genuinely intimidating. However, you probably never find it difficult when you need to celebrate your friends’ wins. Therefore, you can ask for feedback from people around you. Ask them questions like, “how would you promote my skills or strengths?” or “how would you introduce me to a new workplace?”
These are exactly what Meredith Fineman keeps telling people about — brag is teamwork, and we can practice together.
#3. Find your allies and ask them for support
It is less scary when someone has got your back, even with self-promotion. For instance, you want to propose a new idea or you would like to showcase your work in a company meeting. You can find a co-worker to discuss and ask for their support before the meeting. Make sure they voice their support for what you have to say during the meeting. By doing so, you will find your voice or statement to be taken more seriously. More importantly, you will become more confident to talk positively about yourself.
#4. Promote yourself regularly, at least once a month
As a PR, a public speaker, an author, and a founder, Meredith Fineman has done her best to keep promoting herself and her work; however, there are still some people who have no idea what she does, or what solutions she offers.
Not everyone knows what you already know. It’s your job to constantly introduce yourself and your work on the internet. In addition, make sure people around you have a clear understanding of your skillsets and how you can help them.
The Q&A time: how do I balance myself between “brag better” and “stay humble”?
At the end of Meredith Fineman’s book launch event, there was a QA time. I asked a question that has bothered me longer than I can remember.
“As a kid growing up in Taiwan, people always tell us to stay humble. Being humble is a very important part of the entire Asian culture. But, I also love the concept of bragging better and I want to talk positively about my achievements. I guess my question is how do I balance myself between “brag better” and “stay humble”?”
How do I balance myself between “brag better” and “stay humble”?
Here is Meredith Fineman’s answer to my question:
Being humble and bragging better is not exclusive. You can be humble, grateful, thankful, honored, and also showcase your work. You are just stating the fact. It’s a skillset, a strategy, and a framework that you can employ. There are going to be people to judge you. I have been called lots of names. I know that’s happening, and that’s ok. It’s very hard and scary.
People will have their judgment and you can’t control them.
It’s the people you need to brag to that matter. You will never gonna win over everyone.
Your background, your cultural attitude, gender, race, and everything all impact your abilities to use your voice and it’s hard.
The idea in Asian culture of humility is so important. I do believe that you have had those things but also being proud of yourself and celebrating yourself.
For the longest time, Meredith Finman’s reply has been the answer I have been searching for.
The concept of “bragging better is simply stating the fact” in this book which she tried to deliver to the reader, I believe once you can increase your self-confidence and knowledge of how to present yourself to the public, the world is yours. “Brag Better” is a necessary book for many people, including me!
Brag Better is also available on Audible book, listen to it now!
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Ps, I also wrote a book review on my blog for Chinese Mandarin readers. Visit here: 《沒人看見你的好，你要懂得自己誇》心得：為什麼你需要更有策略的推銷自己
